back to school.

I was bombarded with love this morning. Arms and smiles clamoring for me, "Ms Lowe! Ms Lowe!" (though later one child mused "we don't even call you Ms. Lowe, we call you MihLo!"). It was a love fest reunion... All sympathy and smiles as they asked about my Gramma, questions overtaken by "I missed you!!!" G., one of my first graders, kept saying in this baritone voice for a boy, "Yeah. My teacher's back. Yeah."

Sure it made me feel good.

Everything today was seen through a haze of death and love. The new pencils, the popcorn for snack, the laughing raucous noise, the handwriting practice. It all seemed so precious and somehow fleeting, like I wanted to tell them STOP! Treasure this moment! This one, right now!!! -But I didn't. I just stood back and took it in.

And I gave some lessons. The children were so hungry for work, listing all the contractions in the English language, working on irregular plurals and labeling fractions. It was a good day. Even when it got loud and M. left the room running and A. put on his f-you face and left the room for no apparent reason with his backpack on and D. was back again, hiding in corners and under tables like a feral animal, it was good. It was good to be back.

Even though now I'm home with a mile of laminated materials to cut out and lesson plans that need more detail and meetings to prepare for - I haven't stopped yet and have more to go still - I think I'm okay with this.

I used to call my gramma on my way home from work or right after dinner. I miss her. I miss her badly. But life, indeed, goes on. And the cards I got from colleagues and even a fruit basket... all mean so very much; more than anyone can know.