addendum

So many things happen during the school day that are write - worthy. So many interactions and questions and situations come up that I find are on my mind, though with the pace of the day, sometimes they only stick for ten seconds and I have a hard enough time keeping up.

But I didn't mention A. A, the child who lives among violence and has an edge so sharp it will cut your heart. He goes into tough guy mode; by the end of last year it was tough guy acting out as throwing chairs and turning over tables and ripping up work, etc. We started the year with him running off the playground (dirty patch of ground - what slide? what swing?), calling administration, etc. I fear for him at times, that he'll snap into one of his punk ass gigs.

Monday when I was alone he threatened to because I wouldn't let him draw all day, which is what he wanted to do. Math, writing, reading - I don't care which he chose, but not drawing, which is all he wants to do. Which is fine, if some words go with it. He's in third grade for goddsakes. He left the classroom, standing outside of it with his fists clenched and red faced about to snap and it wasn't the day to mess with me. I went out to him and got in his face.

"Look. I bend over backward for you. You get away with so much more than you should because I'm trying to help you get this right. Give me a break. You know I'm alone today here and you pull this out? I help you. It would be nice if you help me."

I knew he might the scene with a big eff you, but I didn't care. Turns out he glared at me for awhile, but he came back in the classroom. I kept him in my periphery. He eventually sat down and did some work, quietly. "BRAVO!!!!" I wanted to scream. "YES!!! GOOD MAN!!!" I wanted to tell him. Instead I keep it all in and later, quietly thank him for his good choices.

Yesterday it was the same thing. His job this week is the attendance, which means he brings it down the hall to the basket. Z had a doctors note she forgot to give me for her absences, so I asked A to see if the attendance was still there and if not, to slip the note in the folder. Z wanted to go with him, so I said sure. Z is a dream first grader. I wish I had a whole class of Z's.

Z came back crying full on tears. A was mean to her, didn't want her to come, sent her back alone. Damn punk. When he came back, I told him he couldn't have the attendance job anymore if he was going to be so mean. She's in first grade, I said. The right thing to do would be to apologize to her.

Of course he was totally pissed and instead went to the library where I have a big white board on the wall and the spelling lists for the week, which he promptly swiped his hand across, erasing half of the first grade spelling words. I noticed of course, but I didn't react. Later I just said "It would be nice if you fixed those words on the board." And I ignored him for awhile.

Later he came to me with an apology note, "Ms. Lowe and Z, I am sorry." something like this - a nice apology note with more said, just can't remember. I thanked him and asked him to give it to Z, which he did. Then I noticed him in the library, re-writing the spelling words.

WOW... you have no idea... these simple little triumphs really are triumphs. I am proud of him like a gushing fountain. Z went up to him later, brave little girl, and said "thank you again for the apology note. That was really nice."

We notice, we all notice when the tough guy has a small victory. It means so much.