Labor Day

Teacher's really don't get time off. Even if we're not with the children, we're thinking about them. Even if we're not lesson planning, we're thinking about it. And even when we have no money, we're shopping for the classroom.

There's stuff I need that school doesn't provide. We got all this great nomenclature material from plant biology to animal classification to geometry terms, but nowhere to put it - I mean, no containers. So I went to Walmart today. Ten bucks on baskets. Also, we need to have plants in the classroom - for the beauty, for the leaf shapes, for the care of - so I bought a couple plants. Fifteen bucks. Snack. Haven't received any donations from parents yet, better buy some pretzels. Ah, and folders - only 25 cents a pop ... 26 kids, letsee, homework folders, writing folders... I counted out 26 two times... wait a minute, that's another 13 bucks.

I put the folders back. Enough is enough.

I don't mean to complain about all aspects of my job... there are plenty of good ones. There is the little boy on Friday, the new first grader, who was just so whooped after a full week of school, walking back down long halls after recess.

"Ms. Lowe? Can I hold your hand? And when we get back to the classroom, can I sit next to you?"

"Of course." I take his hand immediately. And when we get back to the classroom, I make space for him next to me. (I fall in love over and over and over and over).

There is plenty of good, and I'll be writing about that, too. There are moments of such overwhelming love and pride. There is so much hope and celebration. And when we sing or play a game or crack jokes, there is pure joy.

Still, I have the Sunday night blues, only it's Monday. I have the Monday night blues. It was such a stunning weekend - my husband and I went to the mountains yesterday and hiked long and hard. At the top there was a ledge where para gliders and hang gliders were jumping off and floating, colorful birds floating above us all over. Beautiful. We went out for dinner. We held hands on the way home in the car.

I wanted some recreation and I got it. I also wanted to clean out the closet, re-arrange furniture in our bedroom, tackle the laundry, shop for the classroom and work on lesson plans. I got to the laundry and I got to the shopping. I got to the spring for water, and I got to the farm for veggies and eggs. And now it's nearly over.

When I was little I'd get a fever nearly every Sunday night. We called it "Sunday night fever." I would physically manifest a fever. I don't do that anymore, but the dread feels the same. And then, I know, I get to school, I switch gears, and I work. And it's fine. But looking at Tuesday morning from the view of the end of a three day weekend, stunning weather and not enough time...
Boo.